


Guidance from the void

by Sashaya



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Helpful Shepard, Mentions of Blood, Mentions of Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-16
Updated: 2015-08-16
Packaged: 2018-04-15 00:33:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4586208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sashaya/pseuds/Sashaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There’s difference of ideals, difference in the way they look through the rifle scopes.</p><p>She thinks <i>again</i>.</p><p>He thinks <i>good</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Guidance from the void

**Author's Note:**

> **_Disclaimer:_** _I don't own any of the characters._
> 
> Warning: unbeta'ed work, written at 3am.

Despite everything, despite difference in race, species, despite being old, Garrus is younger in experience. 

 

Shepard blinks and sees war, sees corpses, bodies of friends, soldiers, foes. 

Shepard breathes and chokes on smoke from the pyres (she can’t bring them all home, she wants but she can’t and they need peace, she needs it).

 

Garrus boils with rage, anger at _what if_ , anger at _how could I_?

Garrus boils with possibilities, the way his life’s just starting, finally. 

 

Garrus breathes.

Shepard dies.

 

There are centuries of differences between them, difference in lives. 

(Shepard never complains, learnt it earns you a kick when you’re down, 

Shepard never judges, she looks at Garrus and sees a puzzle with missing pieces, pieces he’s not willing to share.)

 

He can see the doubt in her eyes, can see her hesitant support. She’s not hiding, not really but she doesn’t quite understand _why_. 

 

Shepard was born on corpses of dreams, she lived surrounded by kill or die, with gunshots as her lullaby. She doesn’t know a quiet world.

She’s driven by bloodlust, last sparks of _this makes me not dead_. 

He’s driven by bitterness, regret, he’s driven by _I’ll make it work_. 

 

There’s difference of ideals, difference in the way they look through the rifle scopes.

She thinks _again_.

He thinks _good_.

 

Shepard doesn’t stop him, she sits him down and shares the blood on her hands. 

“Kaidan is dead” she says like it’s not still too fresh, too painful. “I killed him”

“No, you didn’t Shepard” Garrus says, shields his hero, his friend from truth. Hides himself from the truth. 

“I killed him” Shepard repeats, she’s cold and distant and Garrus would be afraid if he didn’t see her broken and crying, if he didn’t count the times she shielded him with her own body, if he didn’t know how many times she bled for them. “It was my decision”

“There was no choice” he says.

He’s naïve, pure in a way she never was, there are specks of red on his palms, while she drowns in blood. 

“Wasn’t there?”

 

Shepard doesn’t say _don’t do it, you can’t_.

Shepard doesn’t shake her head, doesn’t say _You’re foolish_.

Shepard sits him down and says _These are the decisions you’ll make, these are your mistakes_.

 

Garrus doesn’t speak in denial, doesn’t run away. 

He listens in a way he never listened to his father.

 

Garrus never thought it was a game, never was that naïve. 

But there’s difference in experience, difference in perspective between them and it feels like _make a sound choice_ and not _stay behind_. 

 

Garrus leaves and Shepard’s hands are shaking, he leaves and doesn’t say anything.

(He wonders if she sleeps, if she can hear them.

He wonders if his ghosts will be this persistent.)

 

He calls home and it’s been a while, he should be awkward, strange. 

Garrus thinks of Shepard’s eyes, cold and foreign, distant, lifeless in calm days. 

Garrus stares his father down and says

“I’m going to be a Spectre”


End file.
